Here is the recent production of the Mill. It is all dreck, but if you insist on not doing the work that you sat down to the computer to do, it may be of some use to you. It can also serve as a counter-irritant. Read on, and you will forget the other things in life that cause you pain. You’ll also change your mind about what the phrase “waste of time” means. …

I heard a voice on the stairs. A big voice. I knew immediately it was Hughes.

Panic stricken, I looked at Pee Wee with the hope that he might convince me that yesterday’s edibles were still in effect.

“Do you hear Hughes?” I asked.

Pee Wee nodded “yes” without looking up from his Sudoku puzzle.

“Holy fucking shit,” I said, “If he wanders into the editorial department and finds them all watering their plants and playing Hades Star or stops by the art department and sees the cavalcade of edibles displayed by the coffee machine, I’m going to lose my…

Are These MY Problems, or Are They Our Problems?

Fools! Covid-19 is a trick! Another false-flag! The virus pretended to be one deadly thing so it could us infect with ANOTHER, more insidious, brain worm.

One of the “side-effects” of Covid-19 is that the infected become depressed, whiny, complaining freaks who drive recklessly in parking lots. Here is the crazy part: YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO GET THE VIRUS TO END UP AS ONE OF THE COVID ZOMBIES. IF YOU HAVE LIVED THROUGH THE PANDEMIC, YOU’RE ONE OF THE FAMILY.

I would like to think that I am still on the right side of the Body Snatchers. …

On the now infamous Ev Williams post;

…which Normal Earthling explained to me, even though I persist in “not getting it” because, like many things in life, willful ignorance and denial seem like the winning strategy… there are 156 comments! If you are attracted to dumb like I am, you read those comments, every one of them. Some… a really small fraction… are very good. Few of them are really bad. Not that bad comments aren’t good. I like to read dumb comments. That’s why I read the Yahoo Finance message boards, reddit/r/skindiseases, and Yelp reviews.

In that stream of…

“There is no way to leverage the backlist on Medium, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.” —Pee Wee

Sir Tom Jones just became the oldest man to top the…

Dear Sirs,

Those of us at the Society for the Preservation of corresponding arts are very happy that you are going to continue publishing letters! We are so excited that we almost wet our dungarees, which would have been embarrassing. Like picking up a tea sandwich and dropping a big glob of oleo on your slacks, or tripping on macadam and scraping your knee and not having any iodine to clean it, or asking the milkman to leave the receipt in the letterbox, or… well… you get the idea.


The Society for the Preservation of Corresponding Arts

Dear Sirs…

The daffodils are up. Percy is feeding the lawn. We’re not wearing masks at The Mill because the virus is boring and despite the fact that we here in Mushamaguntic are threatened by the dreaded “codfish variant”, I’m not going to write about it.

Pee Wee showed up on his motorcycle yesterday to start the season. I was surprised. I hadn’t renewed his contract. He asked me why I hadn’t.

“Well”, I said, “We’ve been here before. Having an 86 year-old Korean man who wears a baseball cap and sits on a milk crate as a flunky to a mediocre…

Yo, Man, This Is From my iPad

You can’t really write a Medium post on an iPad, but I can’t really write a Medium post on a PC either, so it is a small loss for me to bang out dreck on this device.

I just read Ev Williams announcement:

I don’t understand it. Maybe I don’t want to understand it. I think if I understood it I would be agnostic about its implications. What I do understand about that post is that it has 106 “replies” but my dumb device will only load 25 of them.

Imagine my disappointment…

Photo by sunsuma on Unsplash

This morning I received these messages:

I heard a strange pinging sound in the basement, and fearful that it might be something wrong with the boiler, went downstairs to check. As I descended the cellar stairs, it became clear that the sound was coming from the mudroom. The sharpness of the sound and the stillness of the air made me pause, for there was magic about. I looked cautiously around the corner and my suspicions were confirmed. I had sensed it. The door was open. The night air mixed with that of the basement. …


Tribune of Medium. Mayor Emeritus of LiveJournal. Third Pharaoh of the Elusive Order of St. John the Dwarf. I am to Medium what bratwurst is to food.

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