First.

My goodness. I am so funny. I should charge for this. Oh, wait… I am charging for this.

Please linger for a little longer to increase my “read” time. Just a little bit longer. You weren’t doing anything anyway, were you? Probably sitting on the train taking a break from Trump news. There’s nothing here, but I’m here.

Thanks for keeping me company.

Your attention is a boon to me.