For the record, I am a contender for the “Mr. Dominant Culture” title and I eat a lot of shit with my hands. My fingers are often stained with Dorito dust. I pick up pickles, French fries, chips, falafel, bagels, and hamburgers with BOTH hands. Here is the gross thing, I have to wipe my ass with one of those hands.

Furthermore, when I fry a pound of bacon it stinks up the joint for a day or two. Nobody has ever complained to me about the smell of my food, except when I used to eat sardines at lunch and left the empty tin in a colleague’s trash can.

I am the person who makes a burrito with my naan. I might put salt, mayonnaise, or Tobasco sauce on your samosa, or empanada, or Jamaican meat pie.

What I mean to say is I am a beast, and you have a point. People are more important than food trends. Anthony Bourdain understood that, right? That’s what made him different.

I can try to be more respectful.