I don’t pretend to know what is good for Medium. I don’t even know what I want from Medium.

I do know that I don’t need access to more books by traditional publishers. I have five credits sitting unused in my audible subscription. There is a local bookstore in my town. They have a huge used books department. I can get any book I want to read.

I’m not interested in book lists or reading groups.

Medium used to be a place that was fun and experimental. I found lots of interesting things to read here and enjoyed people reacting to my dreck. That has changed.

As I write this, Medium is about as interesting as a Triscuit. I like Triscuits. I eat them every day with different cheeses (it’s my mid-morning snack!). In case you are unaware, Triscuit makes about 50 different flavors of Triscuit. I’m annoyed by all the flavors. They just make it harder for me to find the “original” Triscuit I prefer.

I often stand in the grocery aisle vocalizing comments like, “who wants a sun-dried tomato and Gouda cheese Triscuit”? I shouldn’t care. Maybe someone does. Maybe Nabisco makes money on them. Why should it bother me so much? I’m a crank.

I can’t applaud this acquisition, and I’m certain you don’t care that I’m being a crank. Let me just say a few things again, so that in the future I can start my rehearsed complaint with “I’ve been saying for years…”

• I used to find lots of interesting, innovative, and avant-garde things on Medium to read. That doesn’t happen anymore.
• I can’t insert pictures in my stories now because anything text-wrapped ends up looking like ass.
• I can’t see any of my recent posts in any feed, so it seems like my stories are hidden even from me.
• I hate most people, which means I hate most people on Medium. That said, I like the “people you should follow” headshots because each day I get to say things like, “fat fucking chance I’ll follow that asshole”, to my dog.
• Comments still suck and now when someone “applauds” one of my brilliant comments, I can’t find a link back to the original article. That’s an important feature. How else can I go back and see how my comment was so much better than everybody else’s?
• I get 10 fembots a day as new followers. I know I shouldn’t complain about this, but none of them are nude. I am a big fan of nudity and think that anything you can do to promote pictures of young people (and by “young” I mean people between 28 and 53) writing in the nude would improve the site.
• I think you should tell me to follow myself so I can say, “Fat fucking chance I’ll follow that asshole” to my dog.