I like to think that my drunkeness is more Dylan Thomas than Ernest Hemmingway. Wait, I mean Cheeveresque. I want to be a Cheever drunk. Shit! Scratch that. Bukowski! This is hard. There are so many to choose from!

Tribune of Medium. Mayor Emeritus of LiveJournal. Third Pharaoh of the Elusive Order of St. John the Dwarf. I am to Medium what bratwurst is to food.

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