Not to worry. I am an “internet friend” of Tom Mitchell and I know him about as well as you can know anyone on the Internet. First of all, I doubt his name is Tom Mitchell. Second, I bet he doesn’t even have a kid. Third, the pictures clearly weren’t taken with a watch. I’m not sure what is up with him and these pictures, but I would bet that this is all an advertisement for Motorola. The Tom Mitchell I know is all about marketing genius. Genius, I tell you.

Also, my guess is that he’s Norwegian, not English. We can test this by asking him to write a pop song. If it’s any good, he’s Norwegian, not English. That test has been perfectly accurate since Elton John and what’s his name stopped writing songs together.