Not to worry. I am an “internet friend” of Tom Mitchell and I know him about as well as you can know anyone on the Internet. First of all, I doubt his name is Tom Mitchell. Second, I bet he doesn’t even have a kid. Third, the pictures clearly weren’t taken with a watch. I’m not sure what is up with him and these pictures, but I would bet that this is all an advertisement for Motorola. The Tom Mitchell I know is all about marketing genius. Genius, I tell you.

Also, my guess is that he’s Norwegian, not English. We can test this by asking him to write a pop song. If it’s any good, he’s Norwegian, not English. That test has been perfectly accurate since Elton John and what’s his name stopped writing songs together.

Tribune of Medium. Mayor Emeritus of LiveJournal. Third Pharaoh of the Elusive Order of St. John the Dwarf. I am to Medium what bratwurst is to food.

Tribune of Medium. Mayor Emeritus of LiveJournal. Third Pharaoh of the Elusive Order of St. John the Dwarf. I am to Medium what bratwurst is to food.