Now I understand. You are one of my brothers or cousins posing as “James Finn” just to fuck with me.

On second thought, that doesn’t work. None of my male relatives would produce the carefully thought out advocacy pieces you write. Oh, I get it. Margaret? Moira? If it’s one of you, you should stop.

I saw two baby raccoons trying to cross the road early this summer. My brother raised two raccoons when we were kids, so I have a soft spot for them. Adult raccoons are a different story. I used to keep chickens and confronting an adult raccoon in a chicken coop at night is SUPER SCARY, even after you flip on the lights.

English pointers are what I call a “dog’s dog.” I bet your dog can smell those raccoons through the window.