The Lord Roars From Zion

Why I’m Not Making Fun of Greta Thunberg

Gutbloom
4 min readSep 28, 2019
Greta Thunberg, Environmental Prophet
Greta Thunberg by Anders Hellberg [CC] found at: Wikimedia Commons.

I am frightened by Greta Thunberg. For good reason, I think. My fear is a rational one, but I am predisposed to picking up what she is laying down, man. I know why her words have me looking inward. The gyres are turning. A big change is going to come. We have written the poems of innocence, it’s time to look at the other side of the page.

One reason why you won’t find me mocking Greta along with the morons and idiots on Fox News is that I spend my days with twelve-year-old girls. I’ve been teaching them, and other twelve-year-olds, for about two decades. I often say that if I could have an army of twelve-year-old girls I would rule the world. They are the most industrious and competent creatures on earth, provided you show them what to do. You may not believe me. You may be skeptical. I could talk about this idea for a long time, but I’m not going to because it will make for a crappy blog post. You will want to argue (my guess is that you are confabulating thirteen-year-old girls with twelve-year-old girls) and I’ll have to concede that this particular age has many downsides (don’t they all?), but if you came to my house and I could explain my ideas to you over beer and pasta, you would be convinced. You would leave my house with a new-found admiration for this particular phase of human development. You would…

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Gutbloom

Tribune of Medium. Mayor Emeritus of LiveJournal. Third Pharaoh of the Elusive Order of St. John the Dwarf. I am to Medium what bratwurst is to food.