Your careful analysis is confirmed by my unexamined “feelings”. I suddenly hate Philadelphia the most, which is odd because my pre-season prediction was that I would hate the Nets the most.

But the Nets have Durant, whose one word answers to Shaq and Barkley were funny! The Durant, Kyrie, Harden combination is like dropping mentos in a soda bottle. It’s fun to watch even if it doesn’t last long. Wouldn’t the entire world like to watch a Lakers v. Nets finals?

Nobody, except the cretins in Philadelphia, wants to watch Philly play for even one game. When it comes to Ben Simmons, he has the highest TISF (times I say “fucker”) rating in the NBA. Without the fans you can see how these guys work the refs (can you develop a stat for verbal expression?), and Simmons seems to be a persistent and persuasive complainer. So, I hate Simmons when he has the ball or when he has his mouth piece out. My hatred of players is proportional to their ability to do damage to the Celtics.

As you point out, Embid is a more effective flopper than Smart, but whereas flopping is Smart’s greatest skill, on top of flopping Embid has… the rest of Embid. His problem has always been whether he shows up or not. I think that you’re right, Doc. Rivers will mix a psychological playoff cocktail that will let them party in the playoffs. I can’t hope for a collapse. Fuckers! I love Doc Rivers but I hate that he is on the 76ers.

You must be happy. A Lakers v. 76ers finals is a bore for the rest of us but would probably be a rout for LA. The “complaining to the refs” trophy would be the most interesting matchup.

Now that I think of it, watching LeBron crush Ben Simmons might be fun. I would watch that.